http://celebrityrer.com/jolie Wed, 19 Nov 2008 00:46:20 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en After regaining her figure and being allowed to transport her sons across state lines without a SWAT team escort, you'd think Britney Spears would be happy with her new life. She's not. In an upcoming documentary Britney: For the Record, she reveals her torment, and also that she saw that ... http://celebrityrer.com/jolie/2008/11/19/britney-spears-apparently-hates-looking-awesome-seeing-her-kids-2/ To whoever convinced Jessica Simpson all men want to secretly bang Daisy Duck, hardy har har, asshole. I kid. High five! Do Heidi Montag next. Photos: Pacific Coast News http://celebrityrer.com/jolie/2008/11/19/jessica-simpson-should-go-easy-on-the-collagen-2/ Robert Pattinson walked the red carpet last night for the world premiere of Twilight where he was reportedly deafened by 50 bajillion screaming teens who thought it'd be cool to scratch their necks all up to simulate a vampire bite. Ha ha. That's our future, folks. I'm drowning myself in ... http://celebrityrer.com/jolie/2008/11/19/robert-pattinson-attends-the-premiere-of-that-movie-your-little-sister-wont-stop-shrieking-about-2/ Britney Spears, despite being legally insane, went out on a date last night with a mystery man at Sur in Los Angeles. This has to be a kick in the birth canal for all the sane women out there who know that children aren't an end table for your cellphone ... http://celebrityrer.com/jolie/2008/11/19/britney-spears-is-somehow-meeting-men-2/ I imagine you could probably fry an egg on Benji Madden's bald Elmer Fudd head right about now. These are pics of Paris Hilton getting cozy with her ex Stavros Niarchos at a club in Miami over the weekend, according to The Sun: Greek shipping heir Stavros - who dated Paris ... http://celebrityrer.com/jolie/2008/11/19/paris-hilton-stavros-niarchos-reunited-and-it-feels-so-good-except-for-the-peeing-2/ Remember when Ashlee Simpson got pregnant, I'm guessing, at least ten years ago? That kid's still in there. While taping an upcoming episode of The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Jessica Simpson says her little sister may have to induce labor soon. People reports: "They're going to have to. It's already developing really ... http://celebrityrer.com/jolie/2008/11/19/ashlee-simpson-may-induce-labor-says-jessica-simpson-2/ Here's a rare occurrence: pictures of Kim Kardashian wearing a bikini without a sarong. Seriously, you'd have better luck finding a four-leaf clover that talks and knows all the words to "Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler - in Aramaic. NOTE: Folks, we've got buttcrack. And quite possibly the ... http://celebrityrer.com/jolie/2008/11/19/kim-kardashian-still-wearing-bikinis-2/ Heather Locklear has been formally charged for DUI stemming from her September arrest. Authorities say she was under the influence of prescription medicines, according to People: If convicted, the actress, 47, faces penalties ranging from a fine to up to six months in county jail. An arraignment was set for Jan. 26 ... http://celebrityrer.com/jolie/2008/11/19/heather-locklear-charged-with-dui-2/ Once upon a time (Read: 2005), a presumably coked-out Lindsay Lohan wrote "Scarlett Johansson is a bloody cunt" on a bathroom stall in New York City. The two were once in competition for the lead role in The Parent Trap which Lindsay won. Scarlett Johansson has never talked about the ... http://celebrityrer.com/jolie/2008/11/19/scarlett-johansson-on-lindsay-lohan-2/ Live in New York City? Now would be a good time to leave. Britney Spears is scheduled to light the tree at Rockefeller Center therefore ushering in Armageddon and ruining Christmas for every girl and every boy, according to OK! Magazine: Sources close to the pop superstar confirm to OK! that ... http://celebrityrer.com/jolie/2008/11/19/britney-spears-to-light-tree-at-rockefeller-center-2/